So now that I’ve reflected on all the beautiful things about my trip, I wanted to share the rough patches I’ve gone through beforehand. I’d hate to sound like a whiner, but let’s face it, it’s much more entertaining.
This picture attached to me kind of wraps of the trip I took a few weeks ago, though the photo was taken today.
Wednesday before our trip, Andrea and I were so excited about finishing up our preparations with hostels booked, flights booked and our minds booked. Ready to go out and celebrate, we put the money we were saving for rent and, for the first time in our lives, we decided to put our passports in this safe/lock we had. “What a smart idea to put our passports in our safe! Why haven’t we done this before? We are so smart”- Famous last words.
It was camouflaged as a hard cover English Dictionary put on Andrea’s shelf. Like clockwork, we always returned our beloved safe on her bookshelf and every night after a hard day’s work, we always put our money away. That following Friday, I had come home ready to put my hard earned euros away, but I couldn’t find it. I thought I had lost my mind but Andrea and I started to look. Then we looked again. Then we flipped our rooms and our entire apartment apart and looked again. When it got to the point where the only areas left untouched were the kitchen and between our mattresses. So we checked every cupboard including the refrigerator, fluffed every pillow we had, tore apart mattresses from sheets and bed sets. It was gone.
Our flight was scheduled for that coming Monday at 2:40PM. The U.S. Embassy is closed on weekends but would open on Monday at 8:30AM. Our only hope was to get to the Embassy early, baggage and paperwork prepared and we would be ready to head to the airport ASAP. Sunday night rolls along and we are packing our beds and picking up around the house, planning on getting to the Embassy by 8:00AM. As we’re packing, we notice our bathroom has a leak (the buttcleaner leaked- stifo! #deepsigh). We get our friend Zach to bike to Sloppy’s to get some tools but to no avail. He finally decides it’s best to turn the water off. We had 3 girls that needed to shower so our plan becomes to turn on the water, wait 30 minutes for hot water to be ready, then alternate quick showers. Everything will be fine. Except, we walk into the kitchen and smell something… it turns out it’s the sink. It had clogged and erupted, filing up the sink with brown, greasy water. #deepsigh. Zach tells us he will take care of it with some Italian version of draino and not to worry. Let’s just watch some T.V., you can finish packing and relax. All the sudden the T.V. decides not to work. Is it plugged in? Yup. Are you sure? Yup. Are the lights on the T.V. on? Yup. So what’s wrong with it? No one will ever know. #deepsigh. Okay, this is just so ridiculous it’s turning into a comedy show. What else could go wrong? Oh, wait I can tell you- power outage. Just our unit. After searching like monkeys for any kind of electrical wire downstairs all labeled in Italian we gave up. Walking up the stairs in defeat, we find the right switch. In case you were wondering it was located within our unit the whole time and is right by our main door. #deepsigh.
I go to shower first while Andrea naps so Zach turns on the water and we wait for the hot water. Zach walks into the bathroom to check on it and steps into a puddle- Yup, our bathroom had leaked. Between the two of us we could only find 4 big towels and some old sheets so we got to work straining water and alternating towels and sloppy sheets. After about half an hour we give up and decide this would be the night until we were all finished showering. Now it’s about 7AM and we must finish and get ready to go to the Embassy.
I have experienced some rain in Seattle and in Rome, they’re both miserable and brutal in their own ways. Usually in Rome, it will rain hard for about 10 minutes and then go away but not this morning. This morning, I heard and saw thunder and lightning like I’ve never seen before. It could have actually been a beautiful experience as lightning lit up the entire sky in the most theatrical way I’ve ever seen! But realizing our luggage is getting wet, my boot is filled with water and Andrea’s umbrella keeps flipping inside out, it wasn’t such a beaux. All we could do is sigh very deeply and continue our trek. We go to the metro in order to take our passport photos. 5 Euros for 24 photos of the two pissed off chicks ever captured.
Getting poured on, for a second we were relived we had made it by 8AM to ensure we would be the first in line. Only then do we realize: U.S. Embassy doesn’t allow baggage or electronics. Davero? With another #deepbreath, we begged 2 hotels and a cafe to hold our stuff. We offered to pay, explained this was an emergency. “Me dispiace, non posible” Grazie stronzi. We frantically look for a cab for Andrea to jump on with our luggage, it’s almost 8:20 and time is clicking. As soon as I shut the taxi door and turn around to get back in line I realize I only had a copy of my passport and a stolen report from the carabinieri. My passport photos, my loss of pasport documents all in the backpack I frantically gave Andrea which included a cellphone I could contact her on. I am walking against strong winds, my umbrella flapping everywhere, then attempt to get the attention of someone inside. He signals me to step back to where the line starts. Okay, this line was literally two steps to my left. So he’s watching this tiny Asian girl trying not to fly away with her umbrella literally step 1, step 2, to the left. Behind the line. He comes out at 8:30 and I see Andrea stepping out of the cab. In broken Italian I ask him if I need anything else. He tells me, “piano piano! relax! why worry? the weather is beautiful, enjoy the day! don’t worry!” I’m hearing this while getting beaten up by the weather. He doesn’t understand. Andrea comes and, embarrassed, I tell her I had left my paperwork and passport photos in the backpack but… she had too! Deep breath. We walk in through security, find another photobooth. Another 5 euros spent on 16 pictures of the most defeated girls ever captured.
In the end, everything worked out. By the time we left the Embassy the weather really was beautiful. The sun was out, birds were chirping and everyone was dressed in light clothing. So basically Andrea and I looked like jackasses. We got an emergency passport, were able to leave Italy while enjoying a perfect vacation, and came back laughing at what we had just gone through. It’s true, everything does happen for a reason.
The Heart of a Traveler <3
Just got back to Rome after 3 days in Amsterdam and 7 days in Istanbul. I have no words to describe my past 10 days but I bought a small travel journal and I’ve done a good job of writing and sketching in it consistently… so I guess I will just condense the entire trip here!
With Amsterdam, it was love at first sight. I could go on and on about Amsterdam… including how cold it was! It’s funny; everything about Amsterdam is tall and narrow- the people, the staircases, signs, doors, etc. People are beautiful on their bikes, peacoats & hats in the cold weather. But a piece of my heart is definitely in Istanbul. The people, the dancing, food, people’s hospitality, the sights all filled my soul so much. I was stretched in ways I never thought I could be; touched and completely lost in the best way imaginable. As a friend and I discussed, Istanbul is so beautiful, inspiring, easy yet complex at the same time and so raw.
I’ve realized that my favorite part about traveling is understanding and learning the culture of traveling and travelers. I find it easier to have immediate connections with these people who you may never see or talk to ever again. At the first hostel I stayed at, a few of us were talking about this. How minds and eyes are already opened, people are vulnerable, out of their comfort zones, and there is no reason to fear any kind of judgement because whether you are rich or poor, you are all in the same spot. No fancy hotels, no gimmicks, just yourself and what you have to offer to a conversation. The couple of friends Andrea and I have made in such a short amount of time in Istanbul are beautiful and absolutely brilliant.
Different cultures and backgrounds come together with the same heart of exploring new things and discovering that what you thought you knew, or what you thought was right, is actually all shit and doesn’t mean anything at all. You feel small and insignificant in the most humbling and awe-inspiring way. I hope to join this culture and become a traveler with a humble, modest and grateful heart.
When the plane took off Istanbul my heart was absolutely broken. I would have never had the strength or the courage to decide to throw away everything I was so comfortable with in Seattle if it weren’t for my family and parents who have been so supportive of me. After a conversation about my family a friend I made said, “you really do have a cool mom!”- Hell yeah I do.
Istanbul, I will see you again soon, inshallah.
An Italian, a Korean, a Brazilian and a German (Missing in photo: The Slovenian) smoking hookah and enjoying each other’s company in Istanbul.
Back in Roma but a piece of my heart is left in Istanbul.
I’ve kind of come to a scary conclusion lately.
I have been so preoccupied with trying to let the old “Seattle Nina” go so badly that I think I was starting to let go of the Nina that I actually like! The Nina you and I know tries to be strong, is outspoken (almost to a fault sometimes), knows and does exactly what she wants when she wants to. Maybe it’s being in a new area, it’s scary and it does make me climb into a ball or in a shell… but it’s so frustrating and I refuse to be like that.
I’m going to shower and START. MY. DAY. … it’s almost 7pm. Smh.
2+ Months
On November 26th, 1230AM a couple at my restaurant asked me how long I had been in Rome. I checked my watch and said “in about half an hour, it will officially be 2 months.” Even though this isn’t a long period of time, there are so many aspects that makes it feel so much longer. I think Thanksgiving really did me over with the whole homesick feeling.
I feel like lately I’ve been giving into negativity and letting petty things taint my every day life here. This includes some of the people I have met here, old “Seattle habits” coming back, and thinking about the things/people I am homesick for. At the end of the day, I’m grateful. Especially grateful to have Andrea and Christy here with me. True friends I have known and who have known me for so long that the trust and natural friendship is already there. It seems like for this reason, I am luckier than most here where there are a lot of lone travelers. This doesn’t take away any validity of friendships here, but it makes me think less about being careful and that weightless feeling is… well, makes things bearable, easier to breathe.
#nowplaying: Lost Ones, Jay -Z. It’s kind of weird but I feel like he’s rapping to me.
Anyway since I never post pictures and I always get a hard time for it here’s me thinking by the Pantheon, just chillen.
My Latest Prayer:
When I walk around shops and see leather boots and stylish coats or ponchos, do I feel the dying urge to shop? When my friends are shopping and show me what they’ve bought, do I feel an overwhelming sense of envy? When I feel lazy and want to take a cab, do I hesitate on spending the extra 6-10 Euros?
Yes, absolutely I do. Every. Single. Day.
I’m trying so hard to lose this part of myself. Not necessarily because I have to, but because I desperately want to. I want to live modestly, to look at this part of myself and be able to believe when I tell myself “Nina, you don’t need it. You don’t want it. You are so blessed with other things” and let it all go. Right now, I am living in a fabulous apartment. It’s big, in a great location and luxurious for what is Rome so I tend to forget what lifestyle I am trying to live. But it’s like my friend said- I planned on nothing, came with nothing, and now I must deal with it.
Ultimately, family and friends (which thanks to technology- WhatsApp, Facebook, Gmail, etc- has made it TOO easy to keep in touch), some food in my stomach, a roof over my head, toiletries. These are the essentials and the only needs to my survival.
I admire my friends’ courage here in Rome for saving cash in a bag and then leaving when they get too comfortable. I admire my friends and especially my brother and my sister in law in Seattle for doing big things for themselves and the world. I admire my mom, dad and grandma who have continually worked their ass off everyday to give selflessly to their family and kids. I admire my cousins Elson and Esther who have been more like a brother / sister than cousins or an “in law.” At the end of the day I am humbled by these people and am SO lucky to be surrounded by these people in my life.
Everything else is NOTHING.
Famiglia Sloppy
Last night I hung out at Sloppy Sam’s and made a last minute decision to go to Le Bain (a disco near Largo Argentina, close to Campo di Fiori) with the brothers- Joe, Alberto, Alessandro and Peci. They were speaking in Italian and of course I couldn’t understand a thing. Even though it is difficult for us to communicate, I constantly felt the comfort, security and the love of family. It’s funny how the love we have for each other overpowers the language barrier. To me, it feels genuine, sincere, raw and always real; like how family should be. It can be scary; to not know everyone’s pasts and to be cautious of getting too close to the wrong people… but maybe the beauty in building new relationships lies in naiive, innocent and childlike ideals. If later I get burned, I still wouldn’t regret anything.
It really is a surreal feeling. What have I done to deserve such love and acceptance? It makes me grateful for this family. I wonder what I have been doing all my life without these people yet it only took about a month to get to this point. Being around these people used to make me sad and think of home but I’m learning how to separate home and this new life and appreciate both for what they are!
Viva Italia!
Since I’ve been in Rome, I’ve been exposed to many events that will be remembered forever. First, the streets and public transportations were shut down for the #OccupyWallStreet movement which was over run by a violent anti government group. It was the most violence Rome has seen in a very long time. Then, north of Rome in Genova, there was a disastrous flood that killed 8 including 2 children. Today, there was celebration in the streets and in house holds. The Prime Minister, Silvio Berlousconi (one of the longest serving Prime Minister) finally gets dismissed of his position.
Someday our kids will study Silvio Berlousconi and I will be able to say, “I worked just around the corner of his vacation home and the Parliment building. I literally saw the car that drove him to the building to officially sign his papers of impeachment and dismissal. People were dancing, cheering, out celebrating. People were making conversations with me speaking in Italian I didn’t understand but when I heard the keyword “Berlousconi” I knew to answer “Si, GRANDE!” and they would say “Si Nina, brava! Viva Italia!!”
Nothing.
I wasn’t going to post anything like this, but I want to be completely honest with my blog. The past couple days and week or two, I’ve been straight up STRUGGLING financially. Long story short, I had a lot of money coming in which I was planning on using toward my trip outside of the EU in order to renew my passport. That money is no longer coming in, FML. It’s really been the only thing that’s been on my mind lately. Money, money, money. As much as I tell myself money is nothing, money doesn’t matter, etc, I realized I truly believed that money was nothing when I was serving/bartending in the States making much more than enough. Being here and struggling has been humbling but incredibly frustrating. They say the things you want are worth fighting for, but I’m tired of fighting. I wish I could just get a break and I didn’t have work and fight so hard, for every little thing I’ve ever had in my entire life. I wish I didn’t have independence so I could feel comfortable asking my parents for help, I wish I could win the lottery, I wish this, I wish that, I wish money money money.
Sad to say, this has been my heart’s cry the past couple of weeks… No wonder I was so exhausted and weighed down.
My friend made me realize so much during our skype session. As I was crying he simply asked, “what is the problem?” WHAT. IS. THE PROBLEM? I don’t know! That I’m out of money? I felt so silly. I have a roof over my head, I always eat, I have friends in the States and in Rome that would do anything to make sure I got by, I have a college education, I grew up in the suburbs in a good area, WHAT IS THE PROBLEM?
I admitted that I planned very poorly by coming to Rome almost on a whim. No goals (learning to be a traveling bartender doesn’t really count), not nearly enough money to survive more than a month, etc. But my friend called me out on this- he asked, “wasn’t that the plan? If you could go back and have more time, would you take it?” That absolutely was the plan and no, even in this situation I would not have taken more time.
Even when my brother would drill me with questions of how prepared I was, I just didn’t want to worry about it. Of course, I took care of all the safety precautions, prepared money for rent, had a job lined up, I knew people, etc. so it wasn’t completely random and crazy. But as for the details: I planned on coming with nothing. I am here with nothing, and now I must deal with it. It’s a life change and because my current apartment is so amazing I think I forgot that I am here to live minimally. I’m inspired by the travelers I now call my friends who don’t need man’s luxuries. I’m much luckier than most and I’m choosing to live a life of simplicity, with nothing but the priceless blessings. I want to let go of money woes, I want just enough to get me by and understand the idea of sacrifice. As for now, I will need to start building my bank (#monopolydeal anyone?) because I want to be able to travel and have emergency funds. But it will be okay. I will be okay.
And so… now I will deal with it. SENZA PAURA.
Looking down on the original ground level of Rome @ the Pantheon.
*taken with my android/iPhoto. no instagram on droids- so sad.
